Chrissie Gittins
 Reviews/quotes
'very warm, very inviting, very mysterious poetry. Chrissie has a very tender sight,'
Moniza Alvi

'an important, imaginative, totally original contribution to modern poetry,'
Sheila Hancock

'She is a gifted writer,'
Patricia Routledge

'Chrissie Gittins knows just what words can do: she makes them dance, sing, sit still for a moment and then leap across the page with joy!'
Ian McMillan

'a lot of ripe good ones,'
John Hegley

'A striking play ... deftly written,'
Kate Kellaway, The Observer

'most of (her stories) carry an insidiously discomforting charge,'
Nicholas Clee, The Guardian

'For gentle but often surreal language, little people should sit cross-legged on the carpet with a copy of Chrissie Gittins's latest poetry collection,'
Helen Brown, The Telegraph

‘a true original … she has a genuine gift,’
Jane Yeh, Poetry Review

‘a wonderful collection,’
Jon Snow

‘a voice refusing to be pinned down,’
Moniza Alvi

‘a great sense of humour, an ear for what life sounds like,’
Helen Dunmore

‘weird, interesting and humorous poems that will bear repeated visits,’ Roger Stevens, Poetry Zone website

‘a McGough-like flair for idiomatic surrealism,’
Michael Thorn, TES

‘I very much enjoyed reading your collection of children’s poetry,’
Estelle Morris

‘I thought you read beautifully'
Michael Stewart, Director Huddersfield Literature Festival.

 
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Children’s Poetry

National Poetry Day Ambassador ‘Chrissie Gittins’ poems are imaginative snapshots taken with a quirky edge that appeals to children. She is one of the best children’s poets currently writing and visiting schools.’ Pie Corbett

Chrissie won the Belmont Poetry Prize for children’s poems in 2002, and was a runner-up. Her first children’s collection Now You See Me, Now You ... (Rabbit Hole, 2002) was shortlisted for the inaugural CLPE Poetry Award in 2003; republished in 2009 it was selected as a Poetry Book Society Choice for the Children’s Poetry Bookshelf. Her second children’s poetry collection I Don’t Want an Avocado for an Uncle (Rabbit Hole, 2006) was shortlisted for the CLPE Poetry Award 2007 and was a PBS Choice for the Children’s Poetry Bookshelf. Avocado was also selected as one of four single poet collections for the 'Boys into Books 5-11' booklist (School Library Association).

Chrissie has been guest reader on Carol Ann Duffy’s Arvon course for children’s poetry at Moniack Mhor. She has read her children’s poems at the Hay, StAnza, Wigtown, Ilkley, Aldeburgh, Ledbury, Wenlock, Edinburgh and West Cork festivals, and in the Children’s Room of the Poets House New York. She contributed to ‘Poetry Pie’ and ‘The Rhyme Rocket’ for Cbeebies TV, and to the Oxfam CD of Poems for Children. Her children’s poems are widely anthologized and feature in Michael Rosen’s Puffin anthology A-Z – The Best Children’s Poetry. Her third children’s collection The Humpback’s Wail appeared in 2010. It is also a PBS Choice for the Children’s Poetry Bookshelf. In 2012 Chrissie made an hour’s recording of her children’s poetry for the Poetry Archive. Her ‘New and Collected’ children’s poems ‘Stars in Jars’ was published by Bloomsbury in February 2014, illustrated by Calef Brown. It is a Scottish Poetry Library Recommendation for 2014.

Chrissie’s uncollected children’s poems are published as ebooks by Inky Sprat. They are Now You See Me, Now You ... , The Cat That Couldn’t Purr, and Did I Miss Something? www.inkysprat.com/Books.html

Chrissie’s poem Death in the Poetry Library was The Sunday Poem in the Independent on Sunday. It was read by Roger McGough in a BBCR4’s Poetry Please edition celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Poetry Library, and was repeated on BBCR4’s Archive Hour to celebrate the reopening of the Royal Festival Hall. It features on the Southbank centre audio tour. Her poem I Don’t Want an Avocado for an Uncle was also The Sunday Poem in the Independent on Sunday. Her collections have been reviewed in The Guardian, The Telegraph, T.E.S., Carousel, Books for Keeps, Writing for Children, The School Librarian, Writing in Education and on websites including Book Trust, The Reading Zone, Write Away, ReadPlus and Bookbabblers.

Chrissie’s poems appear in these new anthologies - Happy Poems chosen by Roger McGough (Macmillan), Poetry For a Change (Otter-Barry Books), She Is Fierce edited by Ana Sampson (Macmillan).
Happy Poems, chosen by Roger McGough (Macmillan) Poetry For a Change (Otter-Barry Books) She Is Fierce, edited by Ana Sampson (Macmillan)


A Poem For Every Day of the Year Chrissie's poem 'Holi' was selected for Allie Esiri’s anthology 'A Poem For Every Day of the Year'. Here Helen Bonham Carter reads the poem for the audio version:
www.soundcloud.com

Interview with Chrissie by The Irish Times about children’s poetry and judging the Caterpillar Poetry Prize, 21st March 2018.
www.irishtimes.com

Article 'Poetry in Motion' in Education section of Living South Resident magazine, September 2017.
Poetry in Motion (pdf)

Article for Public and Mobile Libraries Group ACCESS magazine - 'Children’s Poetry has an Identity Problem', Issue 10, Spring 2016.
Children’s Poetry has an Identity Problem (pdf)

Why Is Children’s Poetry So Invisible? Guardian article, 28th April 2015:
www.theguardian.com/childrens-books-site

Call for more children’s poetry in bookshops, 8th December 2014:
www.thebookseller.com/news/call-more-poetry-bookshops


Comments and reviews

Countryfile

Adder, Bluebell, Lobster

Chrissie appeared on BBC1 Countryfile talking about 'Adder, Bluebell, Lobster’ and running a workshop with local schoolchildren at the North Cornwall Book festival 22nd October 2017.

LONGLISTED FOR THE NORTH SOMERSET TEACHERS’ BOOK AWARD:
www.northsomersetteachersbookaward.com/2017-award
Press release (pdf)
Feature in the East Anglian Daily Times 2nd April 2017: www.eadt.co.uk

STARS IN JARS
www.amazon.co.uk
Helen Dunmore:
'ebullient poems - so full of life,'
Helen Dunmore, 29th March 2017

The Bookseller:
'Get close to nature in a collection of wild poems. Otter-Barry plans to publish four poetry books a year and this is one of the first.'
Fiona Noble, The Bookseller August previews, 20th May 2016

Parents in Touch:
'These lovely animal and plant poems really trip off the tongue and they are a sheer delight to read aloud. From adder to wren, the poems are arranged alphabetically and they have gorgeous, sometimes whimsical, illustrations by Paul Bommer - I want to get my crayons out and colour them in! The poems are superbly descriptive - bluebells are described as 'a cobalt belt, a lake of bell towers nodding onwards in the wind.' The poems use words to great effect - the vocabulary is superb and a great way to extend children's own use of language. The poems will really encourage children to take note of the world which surrounds us - an excellent collection.'
Parents in Touch, 3rd August 2016 www.parentsintouch.co.uk/Book-reviews-poetry

Dolphin Booksellers:
There is more to this Wild Book of Poems from Otter-Barry Books than meets the eye! From Adder to Wren, forty fantastic poems celebrate forty amazing animals, birds and plants and their beautiful names – names which you can help poet Chrissie Gittins save from EXTINCTION! They are all words which have been left out of the latest Oxford Junior Dictionary. Join authors such as Michael Morpurgo and Margaret Atwood who along with 28 other authors protested against Oxford Junior Dictionary‘s replacement of natural words with 21st century terms. The poems are brilliant, each page has a poem from Chrissie and illustration from Paul Bommer such as. Harry the Hamster...

'Harry the hamster, in his ball
rolled round the bedroom,
rolled round the hall.
He rolled to the bathroom,
he rolled to the stairs
where a huge teddy bear
took him clean unawares'.


We recommend for ages 6+ and for all ages. Sue Martin, Dolphin Children’s Booksellers, 11th August 2016. www.dolphinbooksellers.co.uk/blog

Red Reading Hub:
'I was intrigued by the title of this collection of "Wild Poems" from Chrissie Gittins and delighted by the explanation for its choice. The author was inspired by the list of natural world words that were left out of the most recent (2015) edition of Oxford Junior Dictionary and replaced with 21st century terms So, this is Chrissie’s offering as part of the protest against their omission that was endorsed by almost 30 authors intent on the laudable aim to send a "tremendous cultural signal and message of support for natural childhood"... A must have for all primary classrooms, for the family bookshelf and for anyone who loves words, the natural world, and those who, like me and the creators of this book are eager to help play a part in saving from extinction, these names from nature. Long may they reign and remain.' Jill Bennett, Red Reading Hub, 9th September 2016
Read More: www.jillrbennett.wordpress.com/2016/09/03/adder-bluebell-lobster-dinosaurs-dinner-ladies

Lovereading4kids:
'A wonderfully innovative collection bursting with energy, you can’t help but read with a smile. Chrissie Gittins is on a mission to save words from extinction, with forty exuberant and informative poems to celebrate amazing animals, birds and plants. The imagery is joyful; adders dance, beetroot paint your kitchen, and melons have an annual party, whilst Paul Bommer’s entertaining illustrations make the poems zing off the page. This is Gittins at her very best, playing with style and composition, and writing with zeal.' Lovereading4kids, September 2016
www.lovereading4kids.co.uk/book

Book Trust:
'There is much to savour in this wide-ranging poetry anthology about all things wild. … Using a variety of styles, such as haikus and shape poems, and a mixture of witty, poignant and lyrical verse, each featured plant or animal is given a distinct personality. Meet the bossy beetroot, with its velvet texture, painting everything it touches with deep maroon juice; imagine a solitary lark, spilling notes from high skies; or reflect upon the redness of the thin, papery petals of a poppy.' November 2016
Read More: www.booktrust.org.uk/books

Carousel:
'In her introduction to this vivid collection of poetry about wildlife, Chrissie Gittins explains a motivation for writing the poems is to reclaim words which she discovered have recently been withdrawn from the Oxford Junior Dictionary - words which name all aspects of nature; words such as hamster, gorse, leek and larks. What follows is an alphabetical compendium of poems, each one celebrating the unique characteristics of a creature or fauna that has sadly disappeared from the dictionary. Young readers will delight in the various personalities she attributes to a species including cute newt, melons having a party and a street dancing hazel tree. Poems such as ‘Bluebell’. ‘Otter’ and ‘Tulip’ are more reflective and encourage a closer look at the natural world which surrounds us. Clear and simple illustrations embody the spirit of the poetry. A very satisfying collection for its variety of moods and striking descriptive details.' Elaine Chant, Carousel No. 63, November 2016

Books For Keeps:
'The poems offer a variety of forms and moods. Some are informative in the dictionary sense; some are evocative; and some take off in whatever direction the poet’s fancy takes her. Adding an adder to an adder produces a poem about mating snakes. And exploring the rhyming possibilities of a cauliflower ends up with taking the vegetable into a shower. In many poems, animals, plants, fruit and vegetables address the reader directly, offering fascinating switches of perspective and register. The cheetah begins with the wonder of his speed, and ends with his vulnerability: ‘I run, I don’t fight/I’m made for flight.’ The lark may be ‘thrilling the heavens’ but he’s also marking his territory: ‘I dare another lark to come near/I’ll thrash him out of my patch.’ I love the jokey poem Mint which moves from one use to another of the herb by a series of cunning contradictions. I won’t be able to see a heron eating a fish (should be so lucky) without wondering whether it is really like ‘sucking on a saved caramel.’ Above all, Gittins has a real sense of her audience. She begins from their experience and gently moves her readers into places of observation, contemplation, imagination and, sometimes, silliness, which are poetic without being portentous or pretentious.' Clive Barnes, Books for Keeps 221, November 2016
Read More: www.booksforkeeps.co.uk/issue/221

The North:
'Chrissie Gittins had a neat idea for a children’s book. Adder, Bluebell, Lobster is a delightful romp through forty of the words deleted from the Oxford Junior Dictionary. Gittins knows her stuff too. I’ve seen her working with children and she’s good. The best poems are about subjects which are relevant to children’s lives. I especially liked ‘Conker’ and ‘Hamster’. The book has a bright colourful cover, is illustrated with appealing black and white line drawings by Paul Bommer, and would certainly earn a place in any priamary school library.' Carole Bromley, The North, issue 57

Recommended in Inis Best Books of 2016/17 Reading Guide, Children’s Books Ireland:
'These forty poems inspired by words left out of the latest Oxford Junior Dictionary will leave readers giggling over cheeky cauliflowers, punk porcupines and adventurous hamsters. Playful, energetic and always tongue-in-cheek, this offers the perfect introduction to poetry for those who are a bit bored with the same old nursery rhymes. In Adder, Bluebell, Lobster Chrissie Gittins lets her words and ideas dance from the page - she even allows parsnips to twinkle! Surprises wait in every single poem.' Alvy Carragher, Inis Reading Guide, 2016/17

Inis Magazine’s 50th issue, Children’s Books Ireland:
'Chrissie Gittins’s poems are crammed with tactile and visual elements: ‘Starling’ is a picture of swooping words and alliterative phrases; ‘Lavender’ is an acrostic of colours, scents and useful facts; while ‘Catkin’ is the perfect spring haiku. The non-fictional aspect of the poems also allows the reader to learn about animals’ habits, plants’ medicinal qualities and even the Latin names of some species. ... Funny, factual, clever & crafted, Adder, Bluebell, Lobster is a delightful selection that will encourage young readers to find poetry in the great outdoors' Olivia Hope, Inis magazine, April 2017 www.childrensbooksireland.ie

The School Librarian Journal:
'This is an alphabetically organised collection of forty poems about forty different plants and animals with black-and-white illustrations throughout. The poems include many poetic forms such as haiku, acrostic, shape and concrete poems; and there are clear examples of poetic devices such as rhyme, repetition and metaphorical language. For me, the best poems in the collection are the non-rhyming concrete poems which really focus on vivid imagery like ‘Bluebell’. The challenging vocabulary used in many of the poems makes this ideal for extending more able readers.There are some beautiful depictions of nature and loads of marvellous, quirky animal facts woven throughout. It is also worth noting that this is one of very few children’s poetry books to include many poems about plants.' Bridget Hamlet, School Librarian Journal, Spring issue 2017

IBBY:
'produced in attractive full-colour cover with text and illustrations on recycled paper, the illustrations in greyscale. The book is the right size to be pushed into a satchel or rucksack and to be pulled out on the bus, car or train.
    The subtitle ‘Wild Poems’ indicates the contents, which relate to the 40 poems on animals, birds and plants. These are positioned alphabetically, starting with Adder and Finishing with Wren. A departure from its forerunners in the series, the author has written an introduction. In 2008, Lisa Saunders discovered that over 100 words naming natural objects such as blackberry, lark, buttercup and wren had been removed from the Oxford Junior Dictionary. The author states that she wanted to recapture some of these words and help restore their value and so chose 40 titles for her poems in this book. He other aim is to encourage her readers to write their own poems and use that as a good excuse to go out adventuring in parks, woodlands and river banks.
    ‘Adder’ starts the book with a swing and a pun, and opposite the text the illustration shows two intertwined adders dancing. ‘Allotment’ is set out on a double spread to show rows of plantings with gaps between. Two birds hover. ‘Dandelion’ starts ‘I have a clock which doesn’t tick … I have a head which says ‘Blow me’. A footnote gives the derivation of the plant’s name. ‘Lavender’ has each line starting with a letter of the name.
    Melons have a party, mint is enjoyed in mint chocolate ice cream, otters enjoy their habitat quietly, plaice lie on the sea floor spying, the raven is certainly calling loudly as illustrated in its poem and willow is illustrating a plate. What a wonderful, imaginative, collection! Such variety, and capturing the spirit of each plant, animal and bird. The author cleverly relates our knowledge of each, such as rhubarb in a crumble and lavender oil to ward off mosquitoes.
    The age range is stated as 7+. I definitely agree with the plus as I have enjoyed all these poems. This is an exceptional collections for all ages from the very youngest baby and preschool child to those at secondary school. The illustrations are lively and well match the poems. Jennifer Harding, IBBY UK Journal, Spring 2017

Johnston Press North West:
'It’s fun to explore and this is exactly what poet Chrissie Gittins did when she researched for her new book. Chrissie wanted to celebrate the natural world and all the excitements it has to offer. She just chose to do it in rhyme.
    Flossie (7) is nature mad, especially animals and so she loved reading this book at bedtime. From giggling about the beetroot being a bossy vegetable to learning all about a porcupine’s spines, Flossie had a ball and even tried her own hand at poetry, watch this space!
    Chrissie has obviously had fun putting this book together and with lovely illustrations from Paul Bommer, it’s a nice book to have on the bedside table to inspire you to explore!’ Rebecca Hay, 10 Johnston Press North West websites including Pendle Today, The Blackpool Gazette, Burnley Express, Lancashire Evening Post, and Wigan Today, 7th June 2017.

North Somerset Teachers’ Book Award:
What do these words have in common- blackberry, hamster. leek and lark? They are all words which have been deleted from the Oxford Junior Dictionary.
    These are the words with which Chrissie Gittins starts the introduction to her book of 'wild' poems, 'Adder, Bluebell, Lobster.' In this selection, she seeks to recapture some of the words- more than 100- that have been withdrawn from the Oxford Junior Dictionary. Choosing 40 of these, she has created poems celebrating the wonderful animals, birds and plants these words name.
    Arranged alphabetically, 'Adder, Bluebell, Lobster' is a brilliant collection of poems about the natural world. The book offers a variety of poetic forms and styles- some playful, some more serious. Although perfect for dipping in and out of and sharing for their own sake, there are also many which could be used for inspiring children to write their own.
    Written as a Haiku, Catkin captures the beauty and elegance of these hanging, flowering spikes perfectly. I love writing Haiku with children as they emphasise the need for such careful word choices to create the perfect image in so few syllables. Working scientifically, children can closely observe and describe plants, seeds, flowers, creatures and select the best vocabulary to create Haiku of their own.
    'Willow' tells the story of the willow pattern plate in verse. Children could illustrate and develop their own narrative poems based on other stories- perhaps myths or legends linked to an area of history being studied.
    The idea behind the book could inspire children to look at other words which have been dropped from the dictionary and to create their own poems to celebrate these words- perhaps creating a class book to go alongside 'Adder, Bluebell, Lobster.' North Somerset Teachers’ Book Award Longlist review, 4th September 2017

Bookwagon:
'Adder to allotment, newt, willow to wren, Chrissie Gittins takes us on a wonderful word walk through a poetry landscape. 'Adder, Bluebell, Lobster' is an inspired collection. The variety of subjects is described in so many ways. From haiku to rhyming couplets, lyric poems to riddles, shape poems to question and response, somehow the type of poem fits the nature of the subject perfectly. The reader realises just how intimately Chrissie Gittins has considered each subject and how delicately she has chosen each word to create each poem. It is a magnificent and much recommended collection. We suggest 'Adder, Bluebell, Lobster' would be a superb resource for schools. It is also a lovely source of poetry to share at bedtime, maybe at the turning of the seasons, or to support days of discovery. Readers from 7 or 8 or 9 to adult would enjoy, ‘Adder, Bluebell, Lobster’. Description: What a beautiful poetry collection! Chrissie Gittins considers the natural world, selecting a portion to describe, cajole and consider. We recommend 'Adder, Bluebell, Lobster' for bedtime reading, individual contemplation, or classrooms. It is ideal for readers aged from 7 or 8 years of age. What a delight!' www.bookwagon.co.uk January 17th, 2018

Stars in Jars

STARS IN JARS
www.bloomsbury.com
www.amazon.co.uk
'(Age: 7+) Recommended. Poetry. Humour. This lovely volume of short poems would suit classroom use as well as another book of poetry in the library. Gittins, often a poet in residence or speaker at schools in Britain, has four published books of poetry, each about all sorts of topics, most very funny. Over one hundred poems deal with topics such as The British Museum Print Room, How to Make a Cup of Tea, Computer, The Ballet Teacher, The Fragrant Pirate, and so on. I loved the poem about the sloth, especially after reading The Advertiser with its article about the sloth in the Adelaide Zoo being the oldest in the world and Death in the Poetry Library with its image of the poet's words 'lapping along the corridor', or Dusk at the Botanical Gardens, Bath with its image of the half pancake moon, and remembering the tastes of summer in winter in Summer Pudding. Many of the poems are just a joy to read alone or aloud with a group, and I can imagine these being read out in the classroom. Some are a little more serious, while some are wonderful models for children's writing. Here I am thinking of poems such as the group of limericks, or Sam, Sam, Quite Contrary, Suzannah the Tailwagger, The Hysterical Tulip or Riddle. This infectious book would be ideal for leaving out for kids to pick up and read to themselves or their friends.' Fran Knight, 14th February, 2014, ReadPlus website, South Australia www.readplus.com.au

Five (5) Star Review 'The lovely, rhythmic opening poem ('Sky-High' p. 9) in this collection gives the book its title: William's rocket trip to the moon and beyond sees him returning with a 'trail of stars' that he brings home to keep them 'safe in jars'. It's an appropriate metaphor for the poems in this book as they are indeed the stars in jars. Here's an opportunity for the imaginative teacher to set up 'poetry star jars' round the classroom into which children could insert their favourite poems. There are familiar themes here but often with unfamiliar twists. The whole gamut of family characters are represented but grandma - in a surprisingly touching poem - is a nun: 'My grandma is a fun nun / and apart from God's, she's mine' (p.23). There's a twist on the well known rhyme with 'Sam, Sam, Quite Contrary' (p.11) which, in common with so many others in the volume has a memorable, lolloping rhythm. If you're worried about the demands of having to learn poems off by heart, where better to start with the downright absurd fun of 'The Hysterical Tulip' (p.7) which simply requires repetition of the same line...? There are poems that invite exploration of language. 'Birds 1' (p.89) offers a rich opening into the wonderful world of collective nouns. There are poems here that could provide potential starting points for children to write their own versions: there are lists to be written: 'Possible Presents' (p.35); 'For Christmas' (p.136); 'Food Sense' (p.59); there are poems that could be extended ('Boxes at Chapel Street Market', p.60; 'The Listening Station', p.68). I love poems about poetry itself so I was delighted to discover the final poem in the book: 'What does poetry do?' (p.141). A poem such as this can help children feel the power of poetry: It nosedives from the top of the fridge / Into a bowl of rapids, / it crawls along the floor / and taps you on the knee, / it changes the colour of a room, / it puts great wheezing slices of life / into bun trays with or without punctuation./ It manages this all by itself.' Alison Young, Reading Zone website, March 2014 www.readingzone.com

'A poet who really knows what children enjoy, Chrissie frequently visits schools and the time she spends with her audience is reflected in the appeal of her poems which often feature familiar settings - families and school, of course. There are many different moods in the poems - humorous, wishful, imaginative - something for everyone and a perfect collection for the classroom. Birds II is a wonderful example of her use of language and is written in a style that will encourage children to experiment with writing poetry themselves.' Sarah Brew, Parents in Touch website, March 2014

'New works and old favourites by the ever-popular Chrissie Gittins are crammed into this glorious collection like so many colourful, foil-wrapped sweets in a selection box designed by Willy Wonka himself. Every page is a joyful celebration of words, and the amazing things they can do - as well as a series of imaginative leaps in all kinds of fantastically unexpected directions. Moreover, as well as providing a moth watering feast of verses to devour, Stars in Jars is also a superb source of potential writing inspiration. Gittins’ starting points are things all young people will recognize: pencil stubs, ice cream, new shoes, fallings out with friends, and changing relationships with family members. Any one of the poems that she brings into existence from such beginnings could easily inspire your pupils to create something amazing with language of their own.' Helen Mulley, Issue 8.3, Teach Primary magazine, April 2014

Five (5) Star Review 'This is tremendous value. Here are well over a hundred poems, some new and the rest collected from Chrissie Gittins’ three previous poetry books, representing over a decade’s poetic production. I am ashamed to admit I haven’t come across the earlier titles so I don’t know how selective she has been in deciding what to include here. What is striking is the consistently high quality of the poems, despite the fact that some of them may have developed from school workshops. They range from poems about pets, friends and brothers and sisters to haiku-like contemplations of the natural world and the changing seasons. They are full of simply constructed but compelling images, like the baby in the womb who swims with purple armbands and yellow ducks; and there are sometimes observations whose significance her readers may only sense rather than fully know: the grandma who is “a fun nun”, who has many fine qualities, the best of which is that “apart from God’s, she’s mine”. Gittins assumes curious restless readers who will be happy to learn in a small footnote about fidget pie or that Suilven and Canisp are mountains in the Scottish Highlands. There are poems here suitable for different age groups. The reader who enjoys two stanzas about the different ways to eat noodles, may well find the wondering lyricism of Mary Anning contemplating the body of a washed-up shipwrecked woman more challenging. However, looking at it another way, nearly all of the poems can be read and enjoyed by adults as much as children; their simplicity is used to distil a common experience rather than focussing on a limiting childish or childlike viewpoint. It’s a fine collection.' Clive Barnes (retired Principal Children’s Librarian with Southampton City), Books for Keeps, No. 206, May 2014

'This collection of children’s poems covers all sorts of subjects: toys, games, places, feelings, and so on, and so forth. One of my favourite ones is ‘My Friend Bob’, a story about an invisible friend. Also the sibling-related poems are sweet and easy to identify with (‘I Want to be My Baby Brother’, ‘My Older Brother’ or ‘Gutted’, which I found very moving). There is something for everyone, even readers who claim they’re not particularly interested in poetry.
    Poetry, both children’s and adult, has had it tough recently and it seems that unless it’s mentioned in the classroom or given to read and analyse as homework, it’s probably not the first genre that young readers tend to reach for once they’re over nursery rhymes or picture books with text based on poems. Admittedly I had some reservations myself before looking at Stars in Jars, but it turned out to be such a lovely read that I couldn’t put it down, smiling as I was turning the pages and reading some of the poems out loud for my family to enjoy (and they were not necessarily only funny poems). A chest full of treasure, which could convert any poetry-phoebes, young and old.' Marzena Currie (literary scout for children’s books), The School Librarian, Volume 62 Number 3 Autumn 2014.

'This is a fantastic collection of poems from the humorous to the absurd, which imaginatively coerces the reader to glimpse other worlds. Gittins has a wonderful facility for creating a story in a nutshell. This is a perfect compendium for any classroom as the stories sound great when read aloud. Black-and-white illustrations decorate some of the pages.' Sadie Katherine Cramer, Children’s Books Ireland’s Recommended Reads catalogue, October 2014.

'This collection of short poems by award-winning UK poet Chrissie Gittins is a wonderful introduction to poetry for children, featuring poems about people, places and things they know and can relate to in a variety of formats and styles.
    Grandma, Dad, hamsters, computers, noodles, the British Museum, cups of tea and all manner of other people, animals, places and things are shared in poems that are sometimes humorous and sometimes serious, but always capture a little slice of life.
    The titles of some of the poems alone will be sufficient to draw most young readers in. How could you resist reading further when you see titles such as The Inside-Out Teacher, Going to be Late for School and The Pointlessness of Not Buying Your Own Strawberry Ice Cream?
    For me, the final poem in the book, What Does Poetry Do?, sums up why it is so important to introduce children to poetry at a young age through books such as this. What does poetry do? 'It nosedives... It crawls... It changes the colour of a room...' and more. It offers snapshots of life for young minds to consider.
    Quirky, interesting and fun, Stars in Jars is ideal not only as a classroom resource but as a poetry book to have on the bookshelf, and in the hands of young readers, at home.' Susan Whelan, Kids’ Book Review website (Australia), 4th October 2014. www.kids-review.com

'Chrissie has been delighting readers with her clever and quirky poems for many years. This bumper collection of well over a hundred poems, consisting of some new verses and poems drawn from her three previous anthologies, is excellent value for money and makes stimulating reading. The poems range from playful wordplay such as can be found in ‘Propagating Thyme’ through close observational gems like ‘A Memory of Snow’ to the moving reflections of compositions like ‘I Can’t Fix Everything’. All the poems are made instantly accessible through their simple structures and catchy rhythms. Yet the fresh, imaginative quality of thought brings a further dimension that makes the reader want to experience the poems again and again.’ Elaine Chant, Carousel 58, November 2014

'A book which I suppose is what you imagine when you think of a collection of children’s poetry. Silly poems, heartfelt poems, school poems, worry poems, poems about everyday things and about fantastical imaginings. It’s perfect for showing children how poetry can stretch the boundaries of our language and grammar, can mix vocabulary – can use the space on the page to define the poem. These are poems to get lost in. Ones that I particularly like include ‘Me, Myself, and I’, which does rhyme, although not many in the collection do, and points out the importance of self in simple, clear repetitive language. There is much poignancy in ‘The Way He Used to Be’ about watching your sibling grow up and be at a slight distance from you; as well as the very simple ‘Three’ about three best friends. It’s a great little riddle and lesson to learn. My favourite is ‘Lullaby’, which implores the child to pack away their worries, or concerns or frustrations and embrace the night as tomorrow is another day. It’s told beautifully, with wonderful imagery playing with childhood illusions of the ‘cheesy moon’ and preoccupations with homework and fights, but is a grown-up way to approach bedtime thoughts. The whole collection contains silly poems too, but the ones with truisms stand out. One to be treasured and dipped into again and again. Chrissie Gittins is no stranger to poetry, having been shortlisted for the CLPE Poetry Awards on more than one occasion, and working with the BBC many times.’ Clare Zinkin, MinervaReads, May 2015 www.minervareads.com

'It’s difficult to choose a favourite from this star-studded collection of poems. I love the edgy offbeat nature of many of them, for instance the opening one that gives the book its title. It begins thus: William went up in a rocket/ To see where it would go./ It flew round/ and round/and round/ the sun,/ and burnt his left big toe. He goes on to hurt his knees by crash landing in camembert before flying through the Milky Way to catch the trail of stars which he then brings home and puts in jars for safe-keeping. There are poems on all manner of familiar topics such as friends and families but even here, Chrissie Gittins builds the extraordinary into, for instance, an otherwise fairly conventional fruit-and herb picking grandma with these final words: ‘my grandma is a fun nun, / and apart from God’s, she’s mine.’ We are treated to powerful images of the natural world in say, The Year is Turning: Gulls chance the churning sea, / Leaves stack up against the thermal door, / Tips of willows, russet, finger low grey sky,/ The year is drawing in. How’s that for a distillation of an instance of awareness of nature’s changes.
      I can’t leave without mentioning the two final poems, first Lullaby. Herein it’s the juxtaposition of images that really packs a punch: Forget about your homework, / forget about that fight, / give it up to the cheesy moon/ and the meteor showers of night. But it’s all really said in the finale What Does Poetry Do? and I make no apology for quoting the whole thing: ‘It nosedives from the top of the fridge/ into a bowl of rapids, // it crawls along the floor/ and taps you on the knee. // it changes the colour of a room, // it puts great wheezing slices of life/ into bun trays, with or without punctuation. // It manages this all by itself.’
      And, it’s fantastic value too – 130 poems and although of course, some are better than others, there’s not a dud among them. If it doesn’t make you look at seemingly ordinary things in a different way then I’m off to ‘try a lunge at Victoria sponge'. Jill Bennett, Red Riding Hub, Poetry Shelf, 6th September 2015 www.jillrbennett.wordpress.com

The Humpback's Wail

The Humpback's Wail
Available from: amazon.co.uk
Information sheet in pdf format
'This lively collection is packed full of poems on any number of topics, such as food, animals, brothers, friends, and embarrassing dads. Some poems delight with detailed observations whilst others play skilfully with form to produce sound-poems like 'Wasp on the Tube' whose protagonist buzzes around 'causing a hummmmmmmmmmmmm' and upsetting commuters.' Mandy Coe and Fiona Waters, selectors for the Children's Poetry Bookshelf

'Chrissie Gittins' poems are imaginative snapshots taken with a quirky edge that appeals to children. She crafts the language and surprises the reader; many of the poems would act as creative catalysts for children's own writing. She is one of the best 'children's poets' currently writing and visiting schools.' Pie Corbett (quote on back of the book)

'Gittins is a very good reader. Her latest for kids is The Humpback's Wail, and I recommend it, for its charming illustrations by Paul Bommer, and the poems themselves.' Todd Swift, Eyewear

‘This is a lovely collection of poems of varying length that are a pleasure to read. The accompanying illustrations by Paul Bommer are clear and quirky. Chrissie Gittins chooses subject matter that appeals to children - the minutiae of everyday life is evident. The poems cover birds, embarrassing dads, sleeping in your uniform, food, playtime, teachers, hiding, historical figures - "Queen Victoria Was bursting with euphoria When Prince Albert's ambition Produced the Great Exhibition" and so much more. There is a fabulous illustration accompanying "Iris Upsidaisy" of Iris' corkscrew curls. I enjoyed the way that the reader has to read "Suzannah the Tail Wagger" backwards - it takes a little while to work this out. Gittins uses simple language to convey everyday life with humour and warmth. There is something for everyone in this book of poetry that will appeal to both children and adults.’ Jane Peplar, Write Away website, 2010

‘Quickly becoming one of the best ‘children’s poets’ currently visiting and writing in schools, Chrissie Gittins’ poems are wonderful, imaginative snapshots of experiences, places, emotions and much more, taken with a quirky edge that reaches out knowingly to children. Although I would suggest her appeal is far wider than just children. Chrissie Gittins demonstrates a playful, almost mischievous command of language; carving out a surprise for the reader within every stanza. Likewise her subject matter is instantly accessible, obviously rhythmic and occasionally visual. This collection – dedicated to the ‘children of Lewisham’ – is indicative of the commitment shown by Gittins to promoting poetry within schools; in 2010 she was appointed Lewisham Borough’s first Writer-in-Residence. Furthermore, this book represents a great introduction to reading poetry out loud. My class would wait expectantly at the end of each day, hoping that it would be their turn to read a poem out aloud to the rest of the class; a triumphant collection for teachers, parents, adults and children everywhere.’ Laura Ciftci, School Librarian, vol. 58 no. 4, Winter 2010

‘For gentle but often surreal language, little people should sit cross-legged on the carpet with a copy of Chrissie Gittins’s latest poetry collection, The Humpback's Wail. As a poet who regularly visits schools, award-winning Gittins knows how to help children let their imaginations wander. For example, in Night Sky In The Clun Valley she’ll point out that ‘the sky is throwing out woks, the moon is munching bananas, and the stars wear sparkly socks’. Helen Brown, Telegraph, 24th July 2010

'I was delighted when Chrissie approached Parents in Touch to ask us to review a selection of her poetry books as I love to encourage children to read poetry. These poems really will appeal to children, with their quirky take on things familiar and unfamiliar. Often, she needs very few words to convey her thoughts and this simplicity will appeal to children. Her vivid use of language will engage children and stimulate their imaginations, and her topics are carefully selected to appeal. I had to think to read 'Suzannah the Tail Wagger' - a clever use of shape which will hopefully inspire children to try this for themselves. A super collection to share in the classroom.' Sarah Brew, Parents in Touch, April 2011

'Chrissie Gittins’ lovely book of poems for children The Humpback’s Wail includes a variety of funny, thoughtful, playful and sensual, image-rich poems, probably most suitable for primary school-age children. Favourites were the history-inspired 'The Fragrant Pirate' which explores the smells on board a pirate ship; 'Iris Upsidaisy', which describes Iris’ unruly hair and what it gets up to when she is awake and asleep, and the humorous and irreverent 'The Very Fortunate Frog':

On hot days in July / when I’m feeling sleepy-snoozie / a hose pipe fills my fancy home / and turns it into a Jacuzzi'.

The author works frequently with primary schools to encourage a love of poetry in children, and this really comes over in her poetry, which is full of the quirks, strangeness and humour that children love.' Book Trust website, 2011

'The Humpback’s Wail is Chrissie Gittins’ third collection of poems and is illustrated by Paul Bommer. It is marketed for 6 years and up and while you would have to be a proficient reader to pick up on the word play, less able readers can still get lots of enjoyment from listening to the poems. There is a rich variety of poems in this book from the daft to the thoughtful, many of them dedicated to the school children with which Chrissie Gittins has worked. The poems cover topics such as food, animals, sibling relationships, curly hair, dreams of Tina Turner and imaginary people. There are some great snapshot moments of the world from a child’s perspective such as spinning on a roundabout, hiding from mum in a supermarket, and having a holiday in the bath. Historical figures such as Queen Victoria and the extinct dodo are also featured which makes for opportunities to engage in discussion after reading. These poems – where Gittins unites humour with a flavour of history – are some of her strongest, with one of the best being ‘The Fragrant Pirate’ which is about a pampering pirate that uses lanolin for soothing skin and lavender for soothing sleep. Light-hearted sound-poems like ‘Wasp on the Tube’ demand to be read out loud, making the speaker ‘hummmmmmmmmmmm’ along with the winged protagonist. Throughout the poems are enhanced by the fun and clear illustrations provided by Paul Bommer. The final poem in the collection, ‘Lullaby’, soothes the worries of the day away. And for parents who soothe the worries of the day away with a book at bedtime, why not put the prose to one side for now and use this book of poetry instead?' Jen Morgan, Writing for Children, Volume IV, Issue I, January 2013

I Don’t Want an Avocado for an Uncle

I Don't Want an Avocado for an Uncle
Available from: amazon.co.uk and from Gardners wholesalers.
Information sheet in pdf format
‘Chrissie Gittins knows just what words can do: she makes them dance, sing, sit still for a moment and then leap across the page with joy!’ Ian McMillan

‘a lot of ripe good ones,’ John Hegley

‘An enchanting collection full of vivid imagery. Chrissie Gittins’ poems are full of fun creatures and characters, from Mr Fogg the very friendly Dentist to Igor Iguanodon (who loves to dine on orchids). You'll love the way she weaves words together to invite you into her real and unreal worlds!' Children’s Poetry Bookshelf, Poetry Book Society

'Chrissie Gittins observes well in I Don't Want an Avocado for an Uncle, whether her subject is the madness of New York, rain spitting on hills or the final rituals of a family Christmas. What distinguishes the hits is a recognition that there is no such thing as a good poem only for children. These hits work for anyone who loves poetry. There are beautifully observed pieces. The ballet teacher is a good example: "Her voice glancing each child/with gossamer" or: "stripes of shellduck tipped up in a lake".' Fred Sedgwick, Times Education Supplement Magazine, January 25th 2007

'This is a delightful collection of poetry from Chrissie Gittins. The title has been selected as the Poetry Book Society Choice for the Children's Poetry Bookshelf. A warm, witty and intelligent selection, this group of poems covers a whole range of writing which will appeal to young readers aged 7-13. The poems are most refreshing for their breadth, not just of subject matter, but also of emotional response. There is not a breath of pedantry in the whole book - yet there is humour, wit, joy, sorrow and enjoyable quirkiness. At £5.99 this is a bargain, particularly as this book is exactly how children's poetry should be.' Irene Babsky, School Librarian, Spring 2007.

I Don't Want an Avocado for an Uncle
'There are not many solo collections of poetry for children being published lately, so it’s good to see something getting through, even if it does entail small or self-publication. Chrissie Gittins is not the only poet currently to take this course, which neatly sidesteps the problems of being taken up by a major house and undergoing the rigours of being edited to their strictures. The result is a book which bears and wears the individualities and eccentricities of the author. I note that in reviews of her previous collection words like quirky, surreal, idiomatic, and zany come into play. This book has plenty to fall into line with those attributes, but there are also tenderer and more lyrical aspects and moments. There’s a confidence and assurance about her writing that clearly appeals to an audience that is already receiving her with enthusiasm. A reading shows she knows what she’s doing and is creating an idiom of her own. If you’re interested in poetry written for children, you should definitely read this book and see how it takes you and the children you’re in contact with. There’s a distinctive voice evolving here and I’ll watch with interest to see what it produces in the future. The book itself is nicely produced with good layout and typeface and very apt illustrations by Kev Adamson whose work for me, while carrying traces of Satoshi Kitamura, nevertheless has a strong individuality of its own.' Tony Mitton, Books for Keeps, no 163, March 2007

‘For the real strength of the collection we have to turn to those poems for which the title has not prepared us. These are quiet, pensive, occasionally meditative commentaries imbued with a pleasantly lyrical note, even on such well-worn topics as seasonal change, the aftermath of Christmas or the beauty of the natural world. It is in poems such as these that Gittins finds an engagingly original voice: ‘Gulls chance the churning sea,/Leaves stack up against the thermal door,/ Tips of willows, russet, finger low grey sky./The year is drawing in.’ Shortlisted for the 2007 CLPE (Centre for Literacy in Primary Education) Poetry Award, this self-published book has been attractively produces and presented.’ Robert Dunbar, Inis (the Children’s Books Ireland magazine)Winter 2007 No. 22

'Gittins’s latest collection for children is as cleverly accessible for young readers as it is funny and perceptive. This well-illustrated book includes poems created for specific people, poetry about special experiences (like ‘River Torridge’), about everyday experiences (‘Mr Fogg the Very Friendly Dentist) and unusual combinations (‘My Grandma is a Nun’).
An inspiration for poetry readers and writers alike, which will hopefully encourage imaginative use of language and a careful observation of life’s experiences great and small and most of all, an appreciation of the power of well chosen words.' Recommended Books, Booktrusted website

'Gittins’ second foray into poetry for children is enormous fun. In a series of surprising encounters, packed full zany humour, we meet flamingos, nuns, dentists, dinosaurs, old pencil stubs, even the Loch Ness monster! The collection consists mostly of light-hearted lyrics (with a few surprises), and includes a sequence of limericks, some nonsense verse, a shape poem and a riddle. She takes much of her inspiration from the close observation of the world around her: families, ordinary life and the natural world. Thus, childhood experiences such as reading under the covers, visiting the dentist and vying for friendships, are found alongside portraits of eccentric characters and thoughtful meditations on her holidays (from Tresco Bay to New York City). Animals, and especially unusual animals, seem particularly to capture her imagination, perhaps for their quirky individuality. She delights to ponder their thoughts and feelings: the grumblings of flamingos, the contentment of the two-toed sloth and the ruminations of dinosaurs! Stylistically, playfulness and humour predominate (as the title might suggest), giving way periodically to flashes of depth and insight (such an the haunting ‘Lifeline’ or the profound final poem ‘Putting Away Christmas’). Gittins is particularly skilled at the sudden twist, repeatedly using her final line to shock, amuse or tip the reader into profundity. This collection would be enjoyed by children throughout KS2, though some of the more challenging poems invite careful thought from more experienced readers.' Darren Coult, Write Away website

'Chrissie Gittins has a brilliant sense of humour and her quirkiness gallops across every page of this most original collection which is stuffed with daft moments and some serious ones too.' Fiona Waters, Carousel 37, Autumn 2007

'Titles do not always tell the whole story, least of all, perhaps, in poetry collections such as this where the title for the complete volume is shared with one of the included poems. For the strength of the collections we have to turn to those poems for which its title has not prepared us. These are quiet, pensive, occasionally meditative commentaries imbued with a pleasantly lyrical note, even on such well-worn topics as seasonal change, the aftermath of Christmas or the beauty of the natural world. It is in poems such as these that Gittins finds an engagingly original voice: 'Gulls chance the churning sea,/Leaves stack up against the thermal door,/Tips of willows, russet, finger low grey sky./The year is drawing in.' Robert Dunbar, Inis, the Children's Book Ireland magazine, Winter 2007

'A second collection from this poet, just as right as right can be as a poetry book for 7's upwards. There's a broad range of writing here from amusing jokes to poems which, sometimes unexpectedly, evoke responses of deeper emotions. Cleverness, but nor for its own sake, with a great sense of fun and an acute awareness of her readership has resulted in a group of poems which are both entertaining and expanding. A valuable and very friendly collection indeed.' Chris Brown, DCFS Boys into Books Booklist, School Library Association, March 2008.

‘Acute observations of many aspects of life shine through in this collection of poems. We meet some lovely characters such as Mr Fogg the dentist and the grandmother who is a nun. I think my favourite is 'The Pencil Stub' - a wonderful poem about a very simple object, which makes us see it through new eyes. And that is the cleverness of Chrissie's poems - she really makes you think about everyday things. The variety will capture and keep children's attention - people, places and animals, all embellished with humorous illustrations by Kev Adamson. Some poems are funny, some are very thoughtful and all are very enjoyable.' Sarah Brew, Parents in Touch, April 2011

Podcast
A weekly podcast from the Walking Oliver children's music website www.walkingoliver.com which is run by Paul Austin Kelly - an American opera singer based in Lewes. In this programme - Episode 7, 21st March 2007 - Paul reads several of Chrissie's children's poems.

Now You See Me, Now You ...

Now You See Me, Now You ...
Available from: amazon.co.uk and from Gardners wholesalers.
Information sheet in pdf format
‘weird, interesting and humorous poems that will bear repeated visits,’ Roger Stevens, Poetry Zone website.

‘Chrissie Gittins has a McGough-like flair for idiomatic surrealism,’ Michael Thorn, TES.

‘I like the warmth and immediacy of the poems. But I think The Shortest Days is my favourite – limpid and deceptively simple.’ Helen Dunmore

‘clearly focused in terms of target readers (mainly pre-teens) and its bias towards humour, occasionally of a quirky and surrealistic kind as in ‘The Fate of the Butternut Squash’. The line drawings are zany too. Sometimes a more serious note is introduced as in the case of the Belmont Poetry prize-winning ‘The Powder Monkey’, which tells of the days when children as young as six went to sea and served on warships, but usually humour prevails. It has a nice pocket-size feel to it,’ Brian D’Arcy, Writing in Education.

‘a most enjoyable collection … she has a nice quirky viewpoint and is well worth investigating,’ Enid Stephenson, Carousel.

‘Chrissie Gittins takes incidents and objects from her locality (Swimming at the local baths; a heart scarab in a museum) and makes imaginative leaps, excavating the thoughts of a tortoise who has travelled from Turkey to Catford. Especially enjoyable are her excursions into wordplay such as ‘Driven to Distraction’, and ‘Approaching Apostrophes’ is an excellent way to get to grips with this troublesome punctuation mark.’ Ann Lazim for the CLPE Award 2003.

‘A witty and interesting collection from children's poet, Chrissie Gittins, which features, among others, poems about a six-foot man in a block of ice, a pair of flying shoes, a travelling wardrobe and a squashed poet. The author also explores the use of language itself in poems such as 'Exclamation Mark Park' and 'Approaching Apostrophes'. Chrissie Gittins writes in a refreshingly non-patronising way for children and this collection is charmingly illustrated throughout. These poems will have particular appeal for children in KS1 & 2, but parents will certainly enjoy reading this collection to younger children too.’ Victoria Buckley-Jennings, Man in the Moon website.

Now You See Me, Now You ... 'This is Chrissie Gittins’ first collection of poetry for children, originally shortlisted for the 2003 CLPE Poetry Award. Review: ‘What Does Poetry Do?’ asks the title of the final poem in this collection and amongst its answers is one which captures much of the spirit of Gittins’ verse: ]“it puts great wheezing slices of life into bun trays, with or without punctuation.] The energy, vitality and fun of everyday life run throughout these poems, providing entertainment alongside flashes of the profound.

It is no surprise that the collection is dedicated to the poet’s children, for much of her inspiration appears to come from sharing life with them: the struggle to get out of bed in the morning, the painful encounter with the pet hamster, or the desolation of a playground abandoned in the rain. Gittins even breathes life into the inanimate, giving voice to the sulks of a cuddly toy hung up to dry in ‘Bradshaw Plots his Revenge’ or exploring the contrast between Turkey and Catford in the experience of ‘The Well-Travelled Tortoise’. With a childlike imagination, she seems to be suggesting, the mundane can offer doorways into adventure and delight; flights of fancy are waiting to be taken with a ‘travelling wardrobe’ or with brochures stored in the garage.

Language itself takes on a zany life of its own in her many poems devoted to wordplay, from the tongue-twisting ‘Fate of the Butternut Squash’ and the crazy rhymes of ‘Government Health Warning’ to the stretching of idioms in ‘Driven to Distraction’. I particularly enjoyed the sequence of poems which playfully explored the rules (and misuses) of punctuation – a resource sure to enliven many a grammar lesson. Several of her free verse poems would also make great models for children’s own poetry – ‘The Listening Station’ and ‘Messages from the Heart Scarab’ seem to particularly invite this. Sharply observant, warm-hearted and shamelessly eccentric, this collection offers much to enrich the KS2 classroom.'
Darren Coult, Write Away website, January 2010

‘This book contains a fascinating variety of poems, from the very short - I liked High Chair, which says so much in very few words - to much longer poems to really get your teeth into. Many of the poems have familiar settings, which will appeal to children, such as Getting Up and Back to School. I loved the quirky humour of poems such as Driven to Distraction: 'I picked up a bus on the High Street then put it down on the park.' Some have a much more serious message such as the thoughtful 'The Powder Monkey'. There are some wonderful poems on punctuation, which I think would make a great teaching resource. A well-balanced collection which will be read over and over again.' Sarah Brew, Parents in Touch, April 2011



GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING

Don’t squash peas on your knees, Government Health Warning
Don’t grate carrot on a parrot,
Don’t tangle pears in your nostril hairs
Never risk a quid on a squid.

Don’t pour bottled beer in your ear.
Never slice apple pies on your thighs.
Never wash your pullovers with yesterday’s leftovers.
Don’t entice a bowl of egg fried rice.

Don’t assume that tarragon’s a paragon,
Or try to run faster than a bag of spinach pasta,
Don’t try a lunge at Victoria sponge,
A cake with a steak is a mistake.

Bravado never works with avocado,
A flickin’s not the thing to give to chicken,
Don’t go and stutter on the b-b-b-b-butter
Never feed mice on ice.

Careful not to ravage a coy savoy cabbage,
Never have a tussle with a mussel,
Don’t ever hurry with a spicy prawn curry,
Don’t boast about your buttered toast.

Don’t pour jelly in your welly,
Don’t dribble tagliatelle on your older brother’s belly.
Never do the tango with a ripe and juicy mango,
If you do then you’re sure to pay the price!


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